Eating Disorders Hotline.

1 1/2 years ago, I started developing abnormal eating habits and overexcercised. I lost a bunch of weight. I mentioned once to my parents that I was "controlling" my food, and that I would stop. And I did. I gained all the weight back and started eating way too much every day. But my thoughts never stopped being weird about food and weight. I desperately want to be skinny and sometimes go back to my old habits. What should I do? -Addy

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 17:36:19 -0400

Hello Addy! Thank you for contacting me and sharing your experience :) I feel you when you say you want to go back to your habits. I say that, because sometimes I think that too and then I’m like: “Alright. I have worked a lot to be healthy. Am I going to throw everything again so I can start hurting my body again?” As you can see, I don’t promote to “eat” or “to not eat” or “to be skinny” or to “be fat”. I promote health.

Everybody is different, like we all have different skin color, we all have different bodies, because that’s part of our genetics. I know that there might be a fear or a problem with your relationship with food & weight. It’s not normal, that’s why I suggest you to see a therapist.

Eat healthy. Food is not all about calories. There a lot of food that can help you with your skin, sight, hair, nails, energy, etc, etc.

Don’t overexcersie. Try to join a gym or a club. There are plenty of people who can help you to exercise in a healthy way. Remember: all excesses are bad.

There's so much i could tell or ask or anything. But you're taking so much pain from everybody. You're listening to so much people. So i i have to ask you. Who is litening to you? Who is trying to help you? it's a real good thing what you do, but please take care for you're self okay? You're so lovely. Stay strong!

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 10:03:35 -0400

aww you’re incredibly sweet. When I recovered from my Eating Disorder I didn’t wanted my pain to be in vain, so I promise myself to help people. Right now, my Eating Disorder is gone, so I don’t have any problem with that.

However, I’m in therapy with a psychiatrist. I’m dealing with anxiety and OCD. She is amazing, and she is helping me a lot. So, you don’t have to worry.

Thank you for your lovely message <3

How do you know if you're relapsing? I think I might be starting to, but I'm not sure...

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:29:28 -0400

Well, in my case, I started to notice that there were some days in which I used to eat a lot, and then I starve for the next days “trying to compensate my calorie intake”.

Then, I also noticed that I’m scared to eat. I’m not scared to calories at all, but I’m scared to introduce something to my body.

In summary, I started to notice that there was “something wrong” with my habits and how I see food.

UPDATE

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:26:56 -0400

I want to update my “status” so you know a little bit more about the person you’re talking to (and add some information you already “knew”)

My ED started in October 2009, and it ended like a year later.
My first therapy was with a psychologist from Feb 2010 to June 2010.
My diagnosis was just depression.
I started to cut myself April 2010, and a couple of weeks later I tried to kill myself twice. I stopped cutting that year on September and since then I’ve done it like 3-4 times. Since that April, I never tried to kill myself again.
My second therapy was with a psychologist from Jan 2012 - June 2012.
My diagnosis was depression, again.
My third therapy begun like 2 months ago with a psychiatrist.
My diagnosis was double-depression, even when I told her my problem was more “anxiety”
I’m currently taking Prozac, 20mg.
I’m currently working in my dermatillomania, a problem that started about 8 years ago.
My ED wants to come back, and I’m working very hard to be strong. <3

I think i may be developing an eating disorder, apparently i have a normal body (i am 5 foot 5 and weigh around 55kg) but i genuinely feel fat all the time. I move things in the fridge sometimes so the things containing the most calories are at the back so i won't see it and be tempted to eat it as i usually punish myself for eating (once purged, usually cut). I don't know where to go for advice as i don't feel comfortable talking to my parents about this. Is there any other help online?

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:18:31 -0400

Tumblr has a Counseling & Prevention Resources page, so can check it here. If you feel that you might be developing an eating disorder, please look for help. I know its hard, but it’s so worth it. I had an eating disorder back in 2010 and I recovered. Now I feel like my eating disorder is waking up again, and I’m so scared because I don’t want to live in hell again.

Please, please, please. Look for help. :) You don’t need to talk to your parents about this, but you can ask them to see a therapist. They can’t say a word to your parents, unless you’re in extreme danger.

No problem for the info. I'm a psych major so I keep up with this stuff. I like your blog btw <3 :)

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:16:56 -0400

Thank you so much !

You know, the new DSM comes out in May. Two major changes include the removal of the criteria requiring loss of menstral cycle in females for anorexia, less binge/purge episodes per week required for bulimia, and the addition of binge eating disorder. Also the weight requirements for anorexia have changed and become more relaxed. I saw you wrote the DSM 4 criteria on your blog. Thought you should know. I have the DSM 5 stuff on my blog.

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:12:00 -0400

Thank you so much for the information, otherwise I will never know as I’m not involved in the psychiatric area anymore.

I think I’m going to update it as soon as it comes out :)

I can't stop thinking about how many calories people are eating. It's just turned into a normal thought for me, like when my friends are eating pizzas at partys or drinking a hell of a lot of alcohol and I just can't. I can't put all those calories into my body and I'm scared. I can barely eat an apple without panicking about how I'll get. I need to stop this but I honestly don't know how.

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 13:33:53 -0500

I know exactly how you feel because I used to have that thought when I was ill. Instead of counting calories, why don’t you count the vitamins, the minerals, etc, etc.. something has? There are a lot of properties that healthy foods have that they can improve your body. People associate calories with fat, and it’s not like that. I’m not an expert, and correct me if I’m wrong, but calories give you the energy you need in order to do something during the day. Believe it or not, there is an amount of calories that your body is burning while you do “nothing”. You have no idea all the things that happen inside your body during the day. I wish I could name a few, but I’m not a doctor.

is it okay to have an eating disorder for attention? or try to take on the symptoms or an eating disorder? why do people do it? is it because theres some other problem?

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 18:28:29 -0500

I personally think it’s not okay to have an ED in the first place, no matter the excuse. There are some people who adopt the symptoms of an ED in order to have attention, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. I have no idea why people do that, I believe that every person is different, however, I believe must of them have other problem.

Like I said, it’s just what I think and believe. You might need to ask this professional (psychiatrist/psychologist) in order to get a complete answer.

I always feel like I'm too fat to be anorexic. People around me always say "you have to eat more, you look anorexic." Instead of eating more, I eat less, because I feel like I have to live up to the criteria 'being anorexic skinny".

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 22:20:08 -0500

Despite “fat” or “skinny”, I think it’s important to live up to the criteria “being healthy”. People are different. Skin tones, color eyes, color hair, you name it, but also our bodies. Some people are naturally skinny, other are fat. Being healthy isn’t only “eating healthy”, but accepting your body exactly how it’s, because trust me, if you think about it, you’re the one who is going to be with you the rest of your life. I know it sounds obvious, but in order to have a great journey in life, you need to love and accept your travel partner, which is.. YOU!

In order to live an amazing life, you have to be healthy. You have no idea how much our eating habits affect our daily life. If we don’t eat properly, we start to feel tired, and so we do bad at school, for example. Your body needs food in order to be healthy and to function in a proper way. People think that food = fat. Try to think this way food = energy, energy to do amazing things in life.

Instead of trying to “be anorexic skinny”, why not try to “be healthy”. It’s lovely, and your body is going to thank you in so many ways! :D

I had both anerexia and bulimia last year, and I am still in the process of recovering. My friend, and tumblr have helped me through it all. My parents don't know, and I don't want to tell them. Do you know of any online chat groups or anything for recovery? I feel like I'm going to relapse and I really don't want to!! :'(

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 22:13:16 -0500

Unfortunately, I personally don’t know any groups for recovery. I have a couple of online friends and we try to help each other and avoid relapse. I have to admit that I met them in a “Pro Ana” group, but we have been strong, and now we support each other with our recovery, because we care about each other and we want us to be okay.

If anything helps, you can talk to me whenever you want. You can message me, or try to send me a message on kik (my username is rapsodya) or let me know which communication system you prefer!

I just wanted to say that you are a great person and you do an excellent job :D I would love to help people like you do! Goodbye! p.s : excuse my english :s

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 22:09:35 -0500

Thank you so much!

When I recovered, I was thinking if I could get anything positive from my experience, and I knew that “my little mission” was to help other people who have been struggling with ED/self-injury/depression/suicide. I’m trying to recover from acne excoriee, so I hope I can help people with this problem in a future, too.

You can do this as well! I always wanted to create like a group, but unfortunately, I don’t have time for meetings and that stuff, so I try to help other people via Tumblr. :)

ps. I think your message was perfect! English isn’t my first language, too.

According to the DSM-IV, this is the criteria for Eating Disorders

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 18:27:06 -0500

First of all, I want to made it clear that I’m not a professional. I’m an 18 years old girl who had an ED in 2010, and because of that, I had depression, I start to cut, and I tried to kill myself. I’m studying Architecture, nothing to do with Medicine/Psychology/Psychiatry. All I know is based on my experience. I say this because most of the questions I get are asking me if they have an ED.

I can’t give a diagnosis.

I’m writing this to refer to it in the future.

DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Anorexia Nervosa

A. Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height (e.g., weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight less than 85% of that expected; or failure to make expected weight gain during period of growth, leading to body weight less than 85% of that expected).
B. Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though underweight.
C. Disturbance in the way in which one’s body weight or shape is experienced, undue influence of body shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.
D. In postmenarcheal females, amenorrhea, i.e., the absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles.

Type

Restricting type: During the current episode of anorexia nervosa, the person has not regularly engaged in binge-eating or purging behavior (self-induced vomiting or misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas).
Binge-eating–purging type: During the current episode of anorexia nervosa, the person has regularly engaged in binge-eating or purging behavior (self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas).

DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Bulimia

Recurrent episodes of binge eating characterized by both:
Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances
A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode, defined by a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating
Recurrent inappropriate compensatory behavior to prevent weight gain
1. Self-induced vomiting
2. Misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas, or other medications
3. Fasting
4. Excessive exercise
The binge eating and inappropriate compensatory behavior both occur, on average, at least twice a week for 3 months.
Self evaluation is unduly influenced by body shape and weight.
The disturbance does not occur exclusively during episodes of anorexia nervosa.

Type

Purging type: During the current episode of bulimia nervosa, the person has regularly engaged in self-induced vomiting or the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas.
Nonpurging type: During the current episode of bulimia nervosa, the person has used inappropriate compensatory behavior but has not regularly engaged in self-induced vomiting or misused laxatives, diuretics, or enemas.

DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS)

Eating disorder not otherwise specified includes disorders of eating that do not meet the criteria for any specific eating disorder.

For female patients, all of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met except that the patient has regular menses.
All of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met except that, despite significant weight loss, the patient’s current weight is in the normal range.
All of the criteria for bulimia nervosa are met except that the binge eating and inappropriate compensatory mechanisms occur less than twice a week or for less than 3 months.
The patient has normal body weight and regularly uses inappropriate compensatory behavior after eating small amounts of food (e.g., self-induced vomiting after consuming two cookies).
Repeatedly chewing and spitting out, but not swallowing, large amounts of food.

You can read more about them here

how was your ed like a game? can you please really explain what went on in your mind during those early stages??

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 18:04:22 -0500

My thoughts were “Let’s see how many raisins I can eat this morning (instead of breakfast” “Let’s see how many days in a row I can go without having breakfast” “Let’s see how I can fool my mom” and things like that. It was all about “challenging” myself and trying to set a “personal” record.

I’m not sure if I explained myself. It was long long time ago and my mind has changed a lot since then.

Happy New Year! :)

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 21:09:29 -0500

I have some -a lot- of messages in my inbox. I’m leaving for a party, but I promise that next year -lol, jk. when I come back- I’ll reply them all :)

If you need to talk, my inbox will be always open :)

how did your eating disorder start?

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 21:07:27 -0500

Well, that’s a long story. I wish I could skip some events, but everything is related.

Since I remember, I had an interested in eating disorders, or in a anorexia, to be more specific. I liked to read articles, go to presentations my school offers, etc. I wanted to be thin, I wanted to lose weight, even when my genetics dictate that I have to be thin. That was when I was in Junior High.

In September 2009, someone commented on my facebook picture “pro ana”. I have to admit that I google everything. And of course I did my search, and I couldn’t believe what I found. At first, I was horrified. Why would people would promote eating disorders? I was conscious that eating disorders are bad, and I knew that if I stop eating it would be under my risk, but who would promote a disease that can lead you to death? Months later, I was part of them. It all started as a game, eating less, saying lies, purge once in a while… Months later, this disease took my life. I was diagnosed with depression, I started to cut my arms, and I tried to kill myself a couple of times in one week.

My parents took me to therapy, and I knew that if I continue cutting myself, I’ll start to get more attention, from everybody. That’s when I started to purge, more frequently. Once a day for a while.. then twice a day… until I was purging everything I was eating.

I knew that I needed help when I wasn’t able to open my mouth because it hurt. My mouth and my throat was so damaged and I knew I didn’t deserve that.

I want to go into treatment but I'm scared to tell my family. What should I do?

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 00:33:08 -0500

I know that it’s hard for you to tell what is going on. Believe me, family support takes a huge role during recovery, as well as friends support. You basically have two options: to tell them or not to tell them. If you tell them, maybe during the first time they will take a while to understand the whole situation. But after that, I’m sure they will be there to support you and to make you happy when you’re down. Otherwise, if you don’t tell them, you’re going to miss that.

I feel so guilty after eating 3 meals a day. Why is that I can't be a normal person. Why is that I'm still fat. Why must I keep going to the scale even though I know it's not gonna tell me what I like. Why do these thoughts absorb my every being and when will I finally be happy?

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:14:56 -0500

I remember when I had those thoughts when I was sick. During lunch at my school, I couldn’t stop thinking about calories and while I was starving, I was looking at other people like: “eww. Do you have any idea of how many calories it has?” Those thoughts started to fade and vanish as soon as I decided to recover. Those thoughts were part of my illness.

i think i have aneroxia nervosa, i talked about it with m,y dance teacher. but i want it to go away i have all the symptoms, and i weigh 100punds as 5'5. what should i do..

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 04:01:35 -0500

Anorexia Nervosa is a complex disease. You can have some symptoms, but not all of them and be anorexic, or have many symptons and be healthy. Anyhow, try to talk with a relative, maybe your mom or an aunt (I don’t know your genre nor your age). If you feel that you can’t trust them, try to talk with a counselor. I’m pretty sure they will help you to be a little bit more open about it so you can talk with a therapist soon.

do you know any good blogs about depression?

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 00:33:19 -0500

I’m sorry. Right now I don’t visit any depression/ED related blogs. If you want to talk, you know where to find me :)